What Your New Year’s Resolution Really Mean

Ah a new year is dawning. It is time to awaken new goals, and redefine your life. It is a time of fresh starts and new promises. It is a time to dust off the past year and take bold steps into the future. This year you tell yourself will be different! This will be the year where it all comes together. All of your hopes, all of your plans, all of your desires, and all of your dreams. 2014 is where the magic is going to finally happen.

But doesn’t that feeling seem a little familiar? A little well worn? Haven’t we been here before? Haven’t we stood at the dawn of a new age only to discover the same old patterns? I know I have. So on this eve of optimism, this threshold of glory allow me to translate what your New Year’s resolutions really mean.

some ecard


Resolution– ‘I am going to start going to the gym’

Translation– ‘I am going to spend a lot of money on new gym clothes.’


Resolution– ‘I am going to start eating better’

Translation– ‘I am going to start eating better than I did at Christmas and New Years, once all the chocolate is gone’


Resolution– ‘I am going to start running’

Translation–  ‘Well not right now, I mean it is cold and slippery out, in the Spring for sure…yeah the Spring’


Resolution– ‘I am going to take more time to read this year’

Translation– ‘I am going to have a massive Amazon book wish list that I will get to when TV stops being interesting’


Resolution– ‘I am going to quit smoking this year’

Translation– ‘Stay away from me for at least a week’


Resolution– ‘I am finally going to quit my crappy job!’

Translation– ‘I am going to update my LinkedIn profile!’


Resolution– ‘I am going to start spending more time with the kids’

Translation– ‘We are all going to sit in the same room this year on our individual electronics’


Resolution– ‘I am going to stick to a budget this year’

Translation– ‘I am going to download like a dozen money managing apps for my iPhone’


Resolution– ‘I am going to make more time to spend with friends’

Translation– ‘I am going to like your status on Facebook way more often’


Resolution– ‘I am going to start getting up earlier’

Translation– ‘I am going to start hitting the snooze button three times’


Resolution– ‘I am going to join a fitness class, maybe yoga’

Translation– ‘I am going to try to figure out where I put that Wii Fit board’


It is always nice to dream isn’t it?

All kidding aside I hope that during 2014 you will take meaningful steps towards becoming the person you most want to be. Have a Happy New Year!

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9 thoughts on “What Your New Year’s Resolution Really Mean

  1. Perfection! haha, love the exercise one meaning we will buy new gym clothes. Ha! I always buy the book first when starting any new project. Its like if I read about daily meditation maybe one day I will actually do it. its a start right? 🙂 I have begun and stopped so many things. I think not making strict resolutions is the way to go. Last year I vowed to become an avid juicer. I think it lasted 2 wks. was too messy 😉

  2. Funny! 🙂 However, regardless of how well we keep our resolutions, I think it is always so healthy to reassess our lives and try again to do better. I love new year’s resolutions.

  3. Totally appreciate your translations. I really do not make them, therefore no translations are necessary. Looking forward to your 2014 posts. All the best to you and family.

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