How To Swear Like A Cartoon Character

I find that people break down into two basic categories. Those that think children who swear are funny, and those that do not. I fall in to the later category. In our house we try to keep ‘bad words’ and ‘bathroom words’ at bay. This hasn’t been too bad all and all. Neither my wife or I let too many questionable words fly, but we all have moments when frustration builds and something has to come out of our mouths beyond a muffled grunt or grumble.

I had a french teacher in grade 11 that taught us at the end of the year a handful of french swear words. He felt that swearing was a good thing to do as it helped to properly express frustration.

There may be some truth to this as even the world of cartoons is not void of words to express frustration. As I have been watching/re-watching cartoons I have noticed that some shows sneak some pretty creative ‘swear words’ into the dialogue. I have collected some of my favourites here;

Super Mario Brothers Super Show/ Super Mario 3/ Super Mario World

Do The Mario

Holy Ravioli

I know this is a terrible show. I was a fan of it as a kid, I collected the DVD’s and Simeon just knows it is a Mario cartoon and that he likes Mario so we watch it from time to time. In this show When either Mario or Luigi are presented with a sudden surprize or enemy it is not unusual for them to utter ‘Holy Ravioli’. As a substitute word this one makes me laugh a little. Partly because they use it to really drive the point home that these guys are Italian but also because I think it really is Holy s#&t just a bit early.

The Road To El Dorado

the-road-to-el-dorado-the-road-to-el-dorado-18327284-500-282

Holy Ship!

Dreamworks is far from my favourite animation studio but they have made a few gems, this one being my favourite. This line is said in a great moment where the two protagonists Tulio and Miguel have escaped captivity in a rowboat, only to turn around to see a ship careening directly towards them. What makes this one so great is in a pinch if you let some sailor talk fly in front of your little one you can convincingly say, ‘ no no honey I said ship’

Transformers Beast Wars 

beast wars

Slag

I just rewatched this 1996-1998 CGI series and boy has animation come a long way. This show has not visually held up well. But being a pretty die hard Transformers fan I still hold quite the soft spot for it. In Beast Wars slag is the favourite frustration term. It might be muttered under someone’s breath, it might be stated with gusto, it is even used as a direct insult i.e. you stinking piece of slag. One of the handy things about this word is I feel I could sub it into my vocabulary now without raising too many eyebrows. It is a handy replacement for damn, and s#&t.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003 Series

tmnt

Shell

I am almost as big of a TMNT fan as I am a Transformers fan, and I really enjoyed the 2003-2010 series. One of the things you couldn’t help but notice was that this group of turtles were a lot more badass than the 1987 versions. Shell became this groups goto replacement swear word. As in ‘what the shell?!’ ‘That is cool as shell’, ‘let’s get the shell out of here’. However context is important as shell is not always a swear word, it can also be used as a normal discripture. They have Shell Cells, and the Battle Shell to name a few. I mean they are giant turtles, what more can you expect.

Transformers Prime

Transformers-Prime

Scrap

After I got over the ‘Michael Baying’ of the characters I really enjoyed this iteration of Transformers. I was disappointed when it ended. Hasbro really wanted to make this a show kids could enjoy along with long time fans. One of the things that really stuck out to me was just how much of a ‘rusty mouth’ these bots have. RC might be the worst, she is always venting her frustration under her breath with a well timed scrap. I think this is my favourite cartoon swear word not only does it make sense that giant robots would use the word scrap the way we use crap, but like ‘ship’ it gives me a good cover for when I am caught muttering under my breath.

These are my favourite cartoon swear words, what are yours? Also what other adult things have you noticed in children’s programs?

 

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Keeping Your Geek At The Gym

I used to mean something quite different when I said I was ‘going to the gym’.

gym

Things have changed. Going to the gym now requires more going, and a lot less pokemon.

I have been going to the real gym now since October. Despite what I said earlier I find myself normally enjoying my time there. But lets be honest the gym can feel like an intimidating place for a person who feels more geek than jock.Because of this I have found it important to try to carve out a geeky safe space for me as I seek to gain a better level of fitness.

Maybe you are like me. Maybe you want to keep your geek while gaining some health. Here are a few tips and tricks that I make use of;

Your Clothing– When I started going to the gym I made sure my geek was plain for all to see. I love my geek t-shirts. You saw my Zelda shirt on a previous post but I have others.

gym 2

Truth be told because I sweat like crazy when I work out I have been slowly collecting more suitable workout clothes than t-shirts. Still the t-shirts are pretty awesome.

Your Music– This is where I really shine. When I listen to music it is pretty much all geek inspired. Some of what I listen to is straight out of a video game. The ‘Dr. Wily And The Robot Masters’ album titled ‘It’s Time For Revenge… Let’s Attack Aggressively‘ has two great Megaman 3 tracks that get my blood pumping. If you are looking for something more subtle I would suggest a playlist inspired by the music from Supernatural. I find a lot of inner strength when ‘Carry on my wayward son‘ starts to play.

Your Exercise Equipment– In my gym almost every treadmill, exercise bike, and elliptical comes equipped with a TV. I flip mine to ‘Space’ Canada’s sci-fi channel. Space has new shows in prime time but during the day it runs a lot of reruns of tried and true shows. I seem to normally work out during the ‘Stargate’ block of shows.

For Bonus Points Geek Up Your Locker– Maybe the best way to really enjoy a private moment of geekiness is setting up your lock. For example you could make you lock the first eight digits of Pi (31 41 59 26), or you could use the Lost numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 32).  As for me I like to use a directional combination lock so I can use of a variation of the konami code…Please don’t break into my locker.

Konami-CodeThe gym is not always an easy place for a geek to be. But with a little effort on our part, when can still geek out while we work out.

You Say Goodbye While I Say Hello

It has been just slightly more than a year that I became the ‘Modern Man Of The Cloth’ and it felt like it was time for a change. And here it is.

This new design has been created by Matthew Marshall Designs. He took on my very vague instructions of trying to create something that captured my; faith, family, and geekiness. He went with a 16 bit pastor sprite and family, based on my favourite game ‘Lunar Silver Star Story Complete’ for the PSone. I think he did a great job.

Thank you so much Matthew for the fresh new look! And thank you Laura of Mommy-Miracles for setting me up as the Modern Man Of The Cloth to begin with.

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