*** This Post sat as a draft since April 2018. It seemed like I should finish it and hit submit.***

With the two week forecast taking us into May, with many days into the positive double digits it seems like the possibility of a random April 60cm-90cm blizzard is pretty much impossible.

Because of that let me share a piece of stress and guilt I have been carrying around all winter. At the start of winter Asher asked if we would be able to build a snow cave like we did last year. This surprised me because Asher hadn’t ever really talked about ‘last year’ with me before, and I wanted to be able to provide this fun memory for him again.

But unlike the rest of Canada, Halifax has been pretty low on snow this year. We had just enough a few times to be able to sled or build a snowman but it never stuck around for very long, and most of it melted before the next snow fall. All this is so say is that at no time was the snow at the end of my driveway deep enough to build a cave.

Asher asked once or twice as the winter went on, not a lot but enough to know it was still on his winter todo list but he was never upset that we lacked the snow to built it.

However, I was upset. Every time I would check the weather I would hope that those snow forecasts would come true and they almost never did. And when they did, they never lasted. Because it didn’t snow I felt stressed and guilty for letting Asher down.

Now you might be thinking, ‘That’s crazy it’s not like you can control the weather.’ You of course are right, I can’t control the weather. In my better moments I would agree with you whole heartedly. But still the stress and guilt remained. I felt guilty over something I had absolutely no control over.

And I wonder if there are times when you feel that way too?

This photo is not from April 2018, but from March 2019. It took that long to finally give Asher his ‘Bear Cave’