*** This Post sat as a draft since April 2018. It seemed like I should finish it and hit submit.***

With the two week forecast taking us into May, with many days into the positive double digits it seems like the possibility of a random April 60cm-90cm blizzard is pretty much impossible.

Because of that let me share a piece of stress and guilt I have been carrying around all winter. At the start of winter Asher asked if we would be able to build a snow cave like we did last year. This surprised me because Asher hadn’t ever really talked about ‘last year’ with me before, and I wanted to be able to provide this fun memory for him again.

But unlike the rest of Canada, Halifax has been pretty low on snow this year. We had just enough a few times to be able to sled or build a snowman but it never stuck around for very long, and most of it melted before the next snow fall. All this is so say is that at no time was the snow at the end of my driveway deep enough to build a cave.

Asher asked once or twice as the winter went on, not a lot but enough to know it was still on his winter todo list but he was never upset that we lacked the snow to built it.

However, I was upset. Every time I would check the weather I would hope that those snow forecasts would come true and they almost never did. And when they did, they never lasted. Because it didn’t snow I felt stressed and guilty for letting Asher down.

Now you might be thinking, ‘That’s crazy it’s not like you can control the weather.’ You of course are right, I can’t control the weather. In my better moments I would agree with you whole heartedly. But still the stress and guilt remained. I felt guilty over something I had absolutely no control over.

And I wonder if there are times when you feel that way too?

This photo is not from April 2018, but from March 2019. It took that long to finally give Asher his ‘Bear Cave’

Delicious Cake!

There are lots of good reasons to bake a cake. Birthdays, weddings, and the desire to eat cake to name a few. This cake was not made for one of those reasons. This cake is to say thank you to Tracey, our daycare provider for a wonderful year of childcare.

Tomorrow is Asher’s last day of daycare before the summer. It actually is his last day of daycare period. And by extension it is the final day of daycare for our household. I knew this was coming all year, and in September when Asher began his final year of daycare I was fully looking forward to its conclusion.

Daycare Day 1 September 2016

Now that it is here my attitude has shifted. I am excited for Asher. He has been asking to go to school more or less all year. Over the past few weeks I have noticed just how much he is growing up to be ready for school in September.

I am excited for him, but I am sad for me. Friday’s have been our day together all year and that too has come to an end. I am going to miss these one on one days. A lot of the time they were nothing special, a trip to the grocery store or some other chore. We’ve watched movies, played with cars, shopped for Christmas, taken trips to the playground, we’ve laughed, and fought, and cried. It has been special, he’s been my solo wing-man longer than either Simeon or Ariella had been before him and I am going to miss this chapter of our families story.

I know every thing we did together wasn’t fun. But I was glad to have you with me.

Daycare in some form or another has been part of our families lives for the better part of six years. But is has been a strange six years. Meghan and I have both gone through periods of unemployment, and parental leave. Our needs for care seemed to shift pretty radically from year to year. Because of this we never had that one long term daycare provider we imaged we would. But what we lacked in consistency we made up for with excellency.

So as this chapter in our families story comes to an end I want to say thank you to Tracey. I want to say thank you to April. I want to say thank you to Michelle. I want to say thank you to Donna. I want to say thank you to Yolanda. I want to say thank you to Danielle. I want to say thank you to Sandra (my mother). The care you gave to our children is worth more than words can express, and more than we could ever afford to pay you. You helped shape our children in ways we likely will never know. Simeon, Ariella and Asher are more ready to take on the world because of your care, and we couldn’t be more thankful.

My folks bought a massive RV earlier this year. It’s an idea that has been percolating for some time. I remember when I was a kid myself my father voicing a desire to own a cottage or camper. It has taken sometime but here we are now.

The RV Park officially opened up and we have already take our first trip of the summer a few weekends ago.

So far I have to say that going to a seasonal RV Park is like entering into a whole new world. People are all out and about, they are speaking with their neighbors, heck they are even going out of their way to introduce themselves to new people like us.  But the strangest thing of all is the children, they all seem to be rather free range. To be clear I don’t mean just the older children, those teetering on the teenage years. I mean pretty much all of the children.

On the first night we were there I walked with my kids to the park only to discover it fully populated with 4 and 6 year old children, but completely devoid of parents. The next day brought more of the same. We walked down to the bounce pad only to discover that the children were there in full force but the adults were nowhere to be found.

I watched kids figure out play equipment by themselves. I watched kids sort out the rules to games by themselves. I watched kids figure out where to toss their garbage from the treats they bought at the store by themselves.

I even heard one girl who couldn’t have been more than 9 tell her friend that she had to go turtle hunting with these other kids that she didn’t know because she couldn’t find her. Unsupervised turtle hunting with strange children, what world have I found myself in, Lord of the Flies?

All kidding aside I am realizing rather quickly that my job here is going to be to a) make sure my kids know how to get to and from the playgrounds by themselves b) know how to assert themselves if they don’t like how kids are playing with them c) have some ability to know the time of day to come back for meals.

Actually as I reflect on these necessary skills for the RV Park I am wondering if I have been more of a helicopter parent than I realized.

Up until now wherever my children have gone we have brought them. Most times we were there on the sidelines watching in case they needed us to jump in.  And we’re have even selected all their friends for them. In short we have had pretty much total control of their play up until now.

But that isn’t going to fly at the RV park. Like me my kids have already noticed that most children there roam free of their parents. Maybe this is a good thing. My kids are getting older and I have always been impressed with their abilities to handle themselves under my watchful eye.  Maybe it is time for my parenting to grow up some as well.

Then again while I was sitting here on the sidelines of the park contemplating about how much wiser and more mature my children have become over these past few months a girl told me that my kids are eating rocks.

Perhaps I am getting a little ahead of myself. Or maybe I will add an item ‘D’ to our list of things to make sure the children know; a) Know how to travel to and from the camper b) know how to be assertive when needed c) Know to come back for meals and d) Don’t eat the rocks.

This should be a fun summer.

This post first appeared on the Urban Parent website. A wonderful site dedicated to all things parenting in Halifax.